laughter!

it might not be a joke, but it's still fucking funny:


on a related (but totally different) note, expressed as a percentage, how many gun owners will unwittingly injure themselves, or others, by trying to "curve the bullet"?

and finally, to cap it off, i'm going to start updating again the way i began, nokia style. my nice digital camera broke, and while i decide on a replacement, i'm going to use the ol' stalwart, the nokia camera phone. i hate the fucking phone, but am locked into the contract, so i'll make the best of times, yeah? yeah.

oh, and really finally, i think the CMWC's are coming up sometime this summer. let me know when you're going to be in town. maybe we'll get a beer.

blood and steel

not in your usual format, mind.

here we see a picture of my blood on a columbus max os mtb downtube. i cut my thumb on the miter, moved on with my work, and then it started gushing blood. fuck tube decals!

toss

so here i am, in an apartment that's relatively cheap that i still can't afford, doing some shit on my computer that i'm not qualified to do, and basically wallowing in late 20's poverty. but i'm not down. i thought of getting on a bus to new york to see my better half, but i have to work on wednesday, and the 36 hours i'd be able to spend there isn't worth the 24 hour bus ride. (i find much of my life is decided on ratios).

silkworm is on my stereo. they are the best band ever.

a lot of me (maybe 4:1.233) is saying i should fuck it all and semi-retire to a park and drink cheep booze and enjoy the sun (like yesterday). the smarter part of me knows the sun isn't always shining, and winter is really cold and miserable.

disregard everything above. i'm going to new york.

moral of the story: it could always be worse. always.

mazda

aspirational bollocks. fuck off.
p.s. worst drivers ever.

anyone got some glue?

glue that shit up!

hardcore!

i've never really understood, or liked, hardcore punk. my friend ben likes it and understands it. that's why he's doing this:

http://condensedfresh.blogspot.com/

ben does good things because he's good people. he lived in japan for a bit, too.

on a related note: right now, my blogging abilities are a little shunted, because someone in new york stepped on my laptop. with the help of my girlfriend, i'm getting it sorted and will be back up to full speed blogging soon.

apologies: ben's blog isn't just 'hardcore', rather it encompasses ben's whole gamut of show set lists; approx 4.234 per week.

ex-courier

i am tofu, ex-courier. i quit my job yesterday and i don't plan on returning. i think i've been a courier for six years. or six winters, anyway. during that time, i've broken three ribs, two fingers, a collar bone and a toe. not to mention all the blood i've lost or the times i've smashed my head off the ground. i've met, worked with, and raced with the best people in the world. i'm certain i've done enough Kms to have circumnavigated the earth at least twice.

i, like most couriers (i think), have thought of quiting for a long time now. it was yesterday, sitting in jet fuel for an hour or two, that i made the choice to quit. i don't regret becoming a courier, but it would be nice if i could go back to 21 again.

in lieu of road work, i will be in the shop full-time; machining, fabricating, chopping, cutting, welding, cranking, wrenching, fixing, etc.

right now, i am equal parts happy, nervous, poor, and optimistic.

interesting times.

and i still can't be beaten.

i love jews!

i saw an ad for the toronto jewish film festival which really made me laugh. it's called "b-ball" but i can't find it online. however, there is no shortage of funny jewish ads:

bike gang!

i'm in a horrifying bike gang. the most horrifying thing about the bike gang are the actual bikes. if you were to ride one, you'd realize how hard we really are. plus we hang out in front of karate schools and nathan's hot dog's of coney island. i'm the leader, nigel is my lieutenant, kieran the "attack dog", megan the getaway driver.

spring time!

it is officially spring. the misery of winter is almost forgotten; at least all the snow has melted. i will be in new york city soon, with the woman i love. my friends from london will be there, too. i have my own business on the go, building bicycle frames. my mp3 player (which i use to alleviate the boredom of despatch riding) has a finely tuned playlist; everything from snap's "i got the power" to the business' "mortgage mentality". people are looking less ugly. and less fat. except for all the pregnant ones, but they, for the most part, look fairly radiant. i ride a pinarello for work. and the tom otterness behind my bike? one day...